The Daily Rant

Hey all. Guess what my rant is about. Hey, what do you know. You're either right or wrong. Or somewhere in between. Anyway, my rant is about rants. Original, eh? Probably not.

So this is my problem with rants: they're pointless. It's just someone airing their opinion about some (usually inconsequential) topic. It's absolutely pointless. Some people may say "Well, rants are useful because they can show people what's wrong with the world so it can be changed". And you might say "Hey, that's a sweet hypothesis you got there". Wrong. The only people a rant convinces are those who already believed what the rant is saying. If anyone ever points you to some rant in a blog or newspaper or anywhere and says they make some good points, none of their opinions were changed in the slightest by that rant. They just already thought the same way.

Conversely, anyone who reads a rant and doesn't believe what it has to say going in, will definitely not believe it coming out. About the only thing that will change is they will think the author of the rant is an idiot. People don't change their opinions for many things, and a rant written by a semi-anonymous faceless internet person is not one of them.

Another reason rants are useless, as well as annoying, is that they're boring. Once again, about the only people interested enough to finish reading a rant are those who already believe it, and a lot of the time even those don't bother. Face it ranters, no one cares. No one freaking cares what you think of the decorator who used too much orange in you bathroom.

And I know that, this being a rant, I'm something of a hypocrite. But I don't really care, because I doubt anyone will read this anyway, and those that do may find the intentional irony amusing. But, this being a rant, and fairly far into one, I could probably goat random words into my dongle and no one will masturbate.

I also realize that if anyone actually reads this, it will sway their opinions on how useful rants are by about as much as the points matter. I just enjoy pointless exercises in futility. (Believe it or not, that previous sentence isn't necessarily redundant.)

Well, it's about time to be hittin' the old dusty trail...

Anarchronism